I Really Hate the Marvel One Shots

Ok, first off let me say that I am really sorry if I am coming off like one those angered fan boys that plague websites, but I just want to get something off of my chest. Anyway, as you can probably tell I am not a fan of the Marvel One Shots (all except for one of them but I'll get to that) if you don't know what I am talking about you either

A)     Don't watch comic book movies

Or

B)      You do but haven't bought the Avengers movies on Blu-Ray and havent gazed at some of the special features

So if you don't know what I am talking about allow me to explain. Starting with the home release of the first Thor movie Marvel Studios began throwing out little short films called Marvel One Shots. One Shot being a clever play on words on the One Shot comics which Marvel publishes, One Shots are stories that are only contained in one issue and don't continue to another story, nor do they have anything to do with a previous issue of a character. So far we've had five one shots, three for Phase 1 and two so far for Phase 2. If you are a fan of the One Shots then that is fine, I am not trying to rob you of any entertainment value you might have gotten from the short films, its not my mission to make you hate them, nor is it my mission to be an idiot hating something because it is popular. No I just don't really care for any of the short films accept for Agent Carter and here is why.

None of the Shorts do anything to further the story of the cinematic universe, nor do they serve any purpose at all or give any form of re-watch value. They normally are fixing a mistake an Iron man film made, or they are just doing a fun little story which will never connect to another Marvel film. Now I know what you are going to say, I just stated what a One Shot comic is, so shouldn't that apply to the shorts? No, absolutely not, the shorts are called One Shots because they are single entries into the Marvel Cinematic Universe, but the catcher is everything has to connect in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, thats what has made the movies so appealing (and sometimes annoying) to audience members, its their main selling point.  Now I would be fine if some of these one shots were well executed and well written, but guess what they really aren't.  Nothing that happens in hardly any of the shorts results in any pay off that can be affected in another movie nor does it help advance the world of Marvel Films. The comics at least help effect something down the line.

For example in 2011 Marvel had a big cross over event called Fear Itself, its a very cool story I suggest checking it out. Now the story focuses on Sin-the Red Skulls Daughter- gaining ancient Asgardian magic and summoning a very pissed of Asgardian god who has been imprisoned for a very long time. Now before the story set off there was a one shot prequel comic called the Book of the Skull, it isn't necessary to read it but it shows how Sin was able to gain the knowledge about the Asgardian magic while showing a kick-ass flash back to WWII which shows Cap and Bucky facing off against Red Skull and the Baron. Now the main focus on the comic is the flash back to Captain America, the Sin story isn't really the main focal point, just a way to ease into the story revolving around Cap. So you can see how this One Shot, which isn't really relatable to anything, had an effect down the line with the Fear Itself story.  It wasn't trying to fix mistakes that another installment had made, it has room to breathe to be its own thing and a very fun supplement that made the Fear Itself event all the more enjoyable. 

The first one Shot Released was called the Consultant, and like I said above it was attached to the first Thor movie. It takes place sometime during the events of the first Thor movie and stars Agent Coulson and Agent Jasper Sitwell. The short takes place mainly in a diner and has the two talking over coffee and discussing a problem that has arisen regarding SHIELD and the World Council so they have to send in the Consultant to fix the problem. This short serves only two purposes, The first is to fix the mess that was Iron Man 2 and somehow connect the Incredible Hulk movie-the bastard child of the MCU-to the Avengers. The Incredible Hulk movie-as you probably already know- was the second film in Phase 1 and in my opinion is the best pre Avengers film in Phase 1. Now instead of throwing in a post credit sequences at the end of the credits the sequence was placed sort of at the very end of the main narrative of the movie. So you get this scene before the credits (which I think is actually a better idea than having people wait 15 minutes to see a three minute clip) here is the scene.

Now it was pretty cool to see Tony Stark interact with Ross, it really showed audiences that Marvel was serious with the Avengers tease at the end of the first Iron Man movie, it only helped build the momentum. Now we all assumed that Tony Stark is the first member of the Avengers, since it pretty much seemed like Nick Fury recruited him during the post credit scene in Iron Man. Unfortunately Iron Man 2 decided to say screw that, Iron Man wont be an Avenger, nope, he will be a Consultant. This is one of the many problems with Iron Man 2, sure we don't get a lot of information in the scene from the Hulk, but Tony Stark is an Avenger, I am pretty sure we all assumed and expected him to be one, but nope he's a Consultant and Avenger part time I guess? So you can guess who the Consultant is in title Consultant short right? Thats right its Tony Stark.

Now Marvel acts like the Incredible Hulk movie never really existed, even if you watch the movie it doesn't feel like its part of the rest of the Phase 1 films, it feels like an odd ball. Probably because instead of Paramount producing it with Marvel it was Universal studios, who still had the rights to the character at the time and was nice enough to go along with Marvels plan before they lost the rights-wouldn't it be nice if Sony and 20^th Century Fox were like that? - The Hulk movie is sort of mentioned in Iron Man 2 but you really have to look closely to get the hint of the movie. The rest are just references scattered throughout Phase 1 which usually are like the line in Thor where Selvig talks about a “genius with gamma research” hmmm, I wonder who that is? Only the news report about the University action scene that was in the Hulk movie makes its way into Iron Man 2. Other than that Marvel doesn't talk about the movie and it doesn't look like a sequel is coming anytime soon regardless of how Bruce Banner was received in the Avengers.

So, the Consultant weaves in the Hulk scene, they literally show that same scene but in different context. From what we got from the Hulk it looked like Avenger Tony was going to get Ross to sign up for the Avengers and hand over the Abomination and that super solider serum they had (which I’m pretty sure they did) now in the Consultant we learn that the world council wants Blonski/the Abomination on the Avengers, why? I have no idea. He clearly murdered innocent people during his rage session. Ross is going to let the Council do this so they send in Tony Stark to convince him otherwise. We don't get this in that scene obviously, all we get is the exchange between Coulson and Sitwell talking about the underlining tones of what went down. Then thats it they brush off the Hulk its never mentioned again and Tony Stark can now be the Consultant- hes actually an Avenger, come on now does anyone really take that consultant title into consideration? Nope- Thats why I don't care for this short, it really served as a way to make the mistakes in Iron Man 2 seem legit, and it was a way for them to weave in the Hulk which they really were not planning on doing anyway but fans demanded that the movie had some sort of connection.

The second short was called A Funny Thing Happens on the Way to Thor's Hammer; it was released with the Captain America: The First Avenger Blu-Ray. I guess I cant give this short any slack because it served the purpose of showing the Coulson can kick-ass. But they could have at least given him something more interesting to do than stop a robbery at a gas station. But then again its 100 times more interesting than anything in Agents of SHIELD. It doesn't serve any purpose for the story of Thor, and it doesn't need to connect to anything because its so utterly insignificant and stupid.  Well I guess it was an excuse for Marvel to show off that car he was driving. Thats about it.

Now the third Shot was called Item 47 and it was attached with the Avengers. This was the longest short in Phase 1 and I was pretty excited about it and I really liked it, until now.  Why I changed my mind is because the reason why I liked it was retconned completely.  After the Avengers came out in theaters everyone got the news of the SHIELD TV show, everyone was pumped because Joss Whedon was going to be somewhat involved, and lets be honest at that point Marvel could have said they were making a new Howard the Duck movie and we would have accepted it. The short actually has something to do with the Marvel movies and shows the aftermath of the battle of New York. Of course the Chitauri left their weapons around and a couple finds one of their guns and does what any reasonable person would do, they rob banks with the thing, and you cant blame them, who would complain if someone wielding this thing came at you?

Yeah I didn't think so. So obviously SHIELD gets wind of this and Agent Sitwell goes after the two, long story short the two get recruited into SHIELD. Now, this is the first short that introduced new characters, both in SHIELD and with the couple, it seemed like it was going somewhere, it seemed like this would be the perfect tie in to the Agents of SHIELD show, but nope these characters as far as I am concerned have not even been in Agents of SHIELD! Then again I stopped watching the show because I cant stand the crappy writing. They even have the Black Smoke monster from LOST in this short. I always thought this short would actually lead to something, I even told people that unlike the other two this one actually would affect the rest of the Marvel movies, sadly I was wrong, nothing came of this, too bad because the characters are better written than the entire cast of Agents of SHIELD, sorry Clark Gregg, you can hate the people who stopped watching the show all you want but face it, it sucks. 

Now the first short for Phase 2 is actually the best one out of the entire bunch, its called Agent Carter and it actually has A) something to do with a previous Marvel film, B) is going to lead into something, and C) effects the rest of the cinematic universe! The short focuses on Agent Peggy Carter, Captain Americas love interest from the First Avenger, the short shows how she deals with Caps “death” she no longer works for the Scientific Reserve, instead she has a very boring desk job for the FBI. They are trying to find a criminal known as the Zodiac, getting tired of the misogynistic view of her boss and coworkers Peggy Carter decides to be a bad ass and catch the guy herself. After she catches the guy she gets a call from Howard Stark who invites her to be the head of SHIELD. Now this short actually had good writing, gave Peggy more to do than be Steve's love interest and showed the Origin of SHIELD. Because of how great the short is Peggy Carter is getting her own show called Agent Carter, which will probably be 10 times better than Agents of SHIELD. She will even make an appearance in the Winter Soldier so it seems like this short actually did its job and helped supplement the rest of the Marvel universe while continuing it in a very awesome way, do you need to watch the Carter show? No it takes place in the 40s its not like Agents of SHIELD which has the constant references and has to rely on the other movies. Agent Carter can exist as its own series that happens to be in the Marvel Universe.

Now the latest short is called All Hail the King and was released with Thor the Dark World, if you liked Iron Man 3 then you might want to watch it, if you didn't like Iron Man 3 you will probably watch it anyway but grudgingly. The short stars Trevor Slattery, the worst thing to come out of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. This short is like Iron Man 2 and serves one purpose, to fix Marvels mistakes its Marvels way of saying we screwed up with Iron Man 3 and ruined the Mandarin sorry, heres the real Mandarin, he's out there somewhere, better stay tuned for Iron Man 4 where Tony Stark will be forced to become Iron Man again for plot reasons and because we wrote ourselves in a corner with Iron Man 3 and need Joss Whedon to save us with Age of Ultron. Sorry Marvel, you don't get an apology, do I sound like an angry fan? Yeah I probably do, but guess what, you made a mistake stick with it! You could have said “hey you know what, we effed that up,sorry guys” no instead they have to go and have three Mandarins? Yes there is three, we have Trevor, Killian and now the real true Mandarin that just let the events of Iron Man 3 happen because…….reasons? 

For a character like the Mandarin you only get one shot to sell him, one shot for audiences to see this villain for the first time and be amazed. They even got Ben Kingsley to play him! I don't even want to know who they will get for the "real" Mandarin. Kingsley did a great job in the first half of the movie but it all went in the gutter as the movie progressed. Showing the Mandarin in Iron Man 4 won't be as exciting as all the trailers we got for Iron Man 3 and the hype that movie created. 

Its almost like this, imagine when you saw the Dark Knight Batman found out where the Joker was, he ran to the location to find out that the Joker was secretly some computer tech guy, and the real Joker the entire time was Sal Maroony and the Mafia, how pissed would you be? I'd walk out of the theater, in all honesty. I am not trying to make this an Iron Man 3 bash post, but the fact of the matter is All Hail the King is a short whose sole purpose is to say the Mandain was real the whole time and that he will be back in some Iron Man sequel, but guess what, we aren't getting an Iron Man 4 in Phase 3 we don't even know is Robert Downy Jr. is coming back anytime soon! It might be ten years before you even see the Mandarin, hell you probably will have an amazing Hulk sequel by that point, so whats the point of unceremoniously saying that there is a Mandarin? On a side note the Justin Hammer cameo is kind of nice, although his character was basically Aldrich Killian just with glasses and just like Killian was the less interesting villain who was the actual main antagonist of the movie but wasn't advertised as such.               

So this is why I really don't care about the Marvel One Shots, I don't care if you agree with me or not, these are just the problems that I personally have with each individual short. This is a review blog so I have a place to input my opinion on film and this is no different.